‘Twas the Night Before

Hello, blogosphere. The time has arrived for my first post.

But first, a confession: I had to google the word blogosphere to know how to spell it.

To be honest, this whole I-am-launching-a-blog thing doesn’t feel real yet. Probably because it isn’t real yet. At this point, only my immediate family and closest friends know that this page exists. But tomorrow! Tomorrow is the day when this journey officially begins.

It feels a little like Christmas Eve. Okay, it feels a lot like Christmas Eve – what, with it being the day before Christmas and all. But that’s not what I mean.

When I was little, I used to spend every Christmas Eve night in Sister’s bed. I can’t say that I slept in her bed, because I never actually slept. I can vividly remember lying there, practically pulsating with excitement, as I waited for morning. Even then I knew that the magic was in the night before. As much as I loved Christmas morning, it was always bittersweet, because its beginning signaled its end.

Which is why the night before was better. I could simply imagine how much fun I would have when morning finally came. Delicious anticipation. The build up without any of the let down.

We all know that feeling. We experience a mini-version every Friday afternoon, as we wait for the weekend. The feeling is a stark contrast to what we go through on Sunday nights: what Husband has coined the Sunday Blues. The moment when the weekend has almost ended, and all that’s left is a dull anxiety about the work week to come.

Right now, I’m in a Christmas Eve moment. There’s Christmas, of course, which for the first time ever my family is celebrating somewhere other than my parents’ house. But more than that, there’s the birth of my baby and the birth of this blog. Each is imminent. Each has me filled with giddy, child-like excitement. And each has me worried that the reality won’t be quite what I hope.

But that’s the magic of the night before. Although troubled by all the things that could go wrong (what if something is wrong with my baby? what if i don’t have the discipline or the stamina or the desire to write daily? what if I hate being a mother? what if I love it so much that I don’t want to be anything else?), right now I’m too wrapped up in all the Amazing Possibilities to let the What Ifs get me down.

I can do this.  This is going to be good.  More than good.  Great!

Motherhood won’t be easy.  Neither will childbirth, or the birth of this blog (blogbirth?)  But why worry about that now?

It’s still the night before.

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