Can I Mo Like A Pro? (Day #60)

6:18 a.m.

Today is an experiment in mobility. Mine, specifically.

Right now I am inching forward in the RIDICULOUSLY LONG security line at LAX. Husband is pushing a stroller containing a sleeping Lil Mil. I am blogging by iPhone, using this nifty little wordpress app.

A few weeks ago, in my post about the weight of negativity, I mentioned my adoration for the term “mobile professional.” C’mon, you know you love it, too.

I want to be a mobile professional. Or, as I like to say (as of 5 seconds ago), a Mo Pro.

When I was a practicing attorney, I felt like a mo pro. I was always blackberrying and VPNing and jumping on and off conference calls while en route to off-site meetings. I felt like a mo pro because I was one.

These days I’m not technically a professional, so in order to qualify as a mo pro I have to bring my mo to a pro level.

Hence today’s experiment.

Can I mo like a pro?

As we travel today, I am going to write a progressive blog from my iPhone. I realize that my creation will likely resemble a Twitter feed, and that blogs are supposed to be more than that. Blogs are supposed to be thoughtful, purposeful creations, and typing with one thumb while on the go doesn’t make for thoughtful, purposeful anything.

But I want to try it anyway.

Okay, time to put the phone away. I am getting annoyed looks from Husband. But don’t you worry, this blog isn’t over yet…

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7:44 a.m.

First problem with on-the-go blogging: you can’t use italics or insert links. I guess that’s a problem with my iPhone app not the practice in general.

Also, on the go blogging makes you look like a self-involved, tech-obsessed tool.

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10:34 a.m PST

I’ve decided that mo pros are like pornography. Hard to define. But you know ‘em when you see ‘em.

Dominant Indicators: multiple tech devices. Oblivion to one’s physical environment. An intense, focused gaze, directed at one of the aforementioned tech devices. Quick, decisive movements involving one or both thumbs.

I am pretty sure that the presence of half a dozen ziplock baggies stuffed with an assortment of diapering paraphernalia overflowing from an overpacked tote is a counterindication.

Does it help if the tote is Burberry?

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2:58 pm EST

The mo pro must plan ahead, especially when travelling. The operation of one’s tech devices (the mo pro’s primary concern) requires use of one’s fingers (the seasoned mo pro may be able to use his toes, but this would put him even further outside the realm of socially acceptable behavior).

Thus, if possible, the mommy mo pro should arrange to have a man present to carry her bags.

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3:58 pm EST

Husband just called me an amateur.

He made this pronouncement after saying my name in a voice normally reserved for irritating sales clerks (like the one who just gave us our rental car).

“Lauren.” Slowly. Firmly. As though I have a single digit IQ. (Query: what impact does mo proing have on one’s IQ?).

I look up, feigning non-preoccupation with this blog. “Yes?”

“Can you stop whatever you’re doing [looking pointedly at my iPhone] and help me load the car, please?”

“I’m mo proing!”

He shakes his head. “Amateur. A real mo pro would keep the mo pro on the down low.”

Crap.

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7:03 pm EST

The best mo pros know when to stop the mo. Or at least when to pause it. Like when their first and only child is meeting Grandma for the first time.

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