The N Factor (Day #80)

Today was a good and productive day.

It didn’t start that way.  This morning, Lil Mil somehow managed to poop on me and pee on herself (on separate occasions), requiring not one, not two, but three baths – all before 9:00 a.m.  Then, she busted out of her swaddle 15 minutes into her morning nap, a feat which apparently got her adrenaline pumping, because there was no sleeping after that. Around 11:00, we headed to Palihouse in West Hollywood (my new favorite place to work) to meet my friend N.

Every friend has their friend flaws.  Ways in which they fall short of the perfect friend standard.  We don’t dwell on these things because perfection is not the standard when it comes to friendship.  We don’t expect our friends to be perfect.  We like that they aren’t, because it makes us feel better about our own glaring imperfection.

My friend N is the exception to the rule.  I don’t say this lightly.  But in the nine years I’ve known her, she has never once been anything but exactly what a friend should be.

N also happens to be a writer (a real, paid one).  Yesterday, we decided to meet for a study buddy session.  We both have looming deadlines and more on our plate that a normal person would take on, so we figured the accountability would be good for us.

I was a little discombobulated when I arrived.  Between the overflowing diapers and the ruined nap and the weird not-raining-but-rainy weather, I was a little off.  But I wanted so desperately to be ON (I only have three weeks after all!  No time for off days!)  And so, within five minutes of my arrival, I was in full-blown vent mode.  About my life, this project, parenting, the struggles of pursuing a passion that doesn’t pay the bills while trying to raise a child, the 1000 different people who are pulling me in 1000 different directions (okay, maybe 1000 is a stretch.  but when you’re in vent mode, you’re allowed to be hyperbolic).  As I was unloading, I kept apologizing to N.  She had work to do after all.  And so did I!  I had no time to waste venting.

After one of my apologies, N said something like, “Stop apologizing.  This is important.  And you’ll be more productive once you get this out.”  (I told you she was the perfect friend.)

And she was right.  I had a rocky morning and spent most of the afternoon typing with one hand while holding Lil Mil in my lap, and yet, I got quite a bit done (not sure the exact word count – will update you tomorrow).

It was a good and productive day.

Thank you, N.

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(Do you have a perfect friend?  What are the qualities of a perfect friend?  Do you agree that it’s better to vent first and do/write/accomplish later?  Is it always good to vent or is it sometimes better not to?)

** please excuse typos, no time to re-read before posting.  I have a book to write!

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