Where Am I?
Memory has been on my mind a lot lately.
Watching a tiny baby grow into a less tiny baby makes you want to remember each day. Maybe not every moment, but so many of them.
On top of being in a memory-making mode, I’m writing a novel that asks big questions about the nature of memory and its relationship to identity. Do our memories define us? Am I me because I remember all the things that have brought me to this moment? Or am I somehow separate from my memories? Of course, the answer depends on how we define “I.” Then again, how we define “I” is the question itself.
In constructing a story about the nature of memory, I had to come up with my own answers to these questions. Now, I want yours. Your answers but also your questions. About memory. Identity. Sense of self. The mind. The body. The heart (the one that loves, not the one that beats). The soul.
Which of these are inextricably entwined? Which of these can we remove from a person without taking the person away?
If tonight, while you slept, you were to somehow get a brain download of all of my memories – every single one – would you wake up tomorrow in love my husband? Would I, with no memories left, still love him?
Are memories something we have or something we are?
macondo mama
Wednesday, 19 May, 2010 at 19:56This is such a great question. I can’t help but say a bit of both, we have memories, we are them, and as we change them, we change with them.
I’m also so interested in thinking about this applied to social memory. Shared and contested and changing and complex social memories ARE society, I think. The meanings we make of history, and the selves and the structures we create out of these.
Sorry for going off topic, great post!
Leslie
Tuesday, 18 May, 2010 at 8:21I have memories that are me and memories that are just mine – ones that made me, and ones that made me stop, look, think and change paths.
I tackled some last week in a memory post for Momalom’s Five for Ten. Because I settled down in the place that surrounded my most formative years, I see my memory everywhere, every day. Some days, my commute is like a train with stops at every turn – I can get out, stand on the platform, remember some small moment in my making, and get back on for the rest of the ride.
Jen
Tuesday, 18 May, 2010 at 7:51OH! You asked the BIG question. Memores: ARE they are or WE they? I don’t know. And I’m so immersed in all of these memory posts that I can barely remember anything at all. But I will say this: I’m looking forward to reading your novel. Yes. Indeed.
Aidan Donnelley Rowley @ Ivy League Insecurities
Monday, 17 May, 2010 at 18:43Deep, dreamy questions. Thanks for making me think as I head off to think about sleep on this epic night before. What will I remember about this night? Will these memories be part of me or tangential to my essence? Who knows?
erika
Saturday, 15 May, 2010 at 22:51there is nothing but NOW. each day is a fresh page. but who we are NOW is the culmination of our experiences and our reactions to them. who we are is not just our memories- it is why two people who grow up in the same house can turn out so vastly different. our souls are separate from our memories- and our inherent “being” can cause a person to turn a bad situation into a great life (think: oprah winfrey), and of course, the opposite is also true…
so, no- even if i had all your memories- it would be impossible for me to BE you…
our souls are unique and that is why it is so tragic when a person dies.
love you!!!
Tiffany
Saturday, 15 May, 2010 at 18:19This post gave me chills!!! What a unique way of interpreting memory.
Lenore @ Lather. Write. Repeat.
Saturday, 15 May, 2010 at 16:28I agree that I think it’s a bit of both. They are constantly being created every single day and accumulating themselves in our heads, but they are also shaping who we are as people. Because we rely on our memories to help all our decisions going forward. I remember enjoying this blog the last time I read it, which encouraged me to come read it again. It ongoing…
XO
Lenore
Jane
Saturday, 15 May, 2010 at 16:14Memories are something we have, without question. Memories are our experiences and our experiences are what forms the basis of our decision making.
Memories are not there to define us but to teach us. Remind us about what went wrong and what went right.
Memories can keep us company or haunt us when we are alone.
I think in life, you are responsible for your own experience. You make the best of things or the worst of things. The irony is, only you will reap the benefits or drown in sorrow. You can be a victim, or you can take the memory and draw strength from it.
This feels like a conversation that should be had over a good bottle of wine.
Launa
Saturday, 15 May, 2010 at 14:03Our web of memories is our soul — no more, no less. Without those memories, I would not be me. I’d look like me, I suppose, but be someone, somewhere else.
Allison @ Alli 'n Son
Saturday, 15 May, 2010 at 12:57I think it’s a little bit of both. Memories don’t totally make up who we are, but they do help define us. And yet, we wouldn’t be who we are without our memories.
Sorry, that probably didn’t really answer your question at all.